One of the things I really like about myself is that I get angry about certain things consistently. I'm not one to get enraged over what I would consider minor things: last minute changes, losing something, getting lost, or lots of traffic on the road. My anger tends to be about intentional malicious behavior or people believing they understand when obviously they do not. I'm usually not one to ask several people what they think on an issue. If there is a spiritual or philosophical question I have, then I may ask people in my life but I don't live my life based on others' thoughts about issues.
I do not have a quick temper. It takes a lot for me to go from frustrated to downright anger. I have a very slow burn and a very long memory. I can forgive people for their choices in behavior. Once someone engages in something that feels very painful to me, I have a real challenge forgetting the incident. I can move on but often what happens is that I distance myself from the situation and the person.
I respect people that I can honorably disagree with and still hold a connection. I understand that we all see life and circumstances differently. One of my latest irritants is the pattern of some people with disabilities believing that know what it's like for others with disabilities. One disability does not equate to another. Just like there are various forms of learning disabilities, traumatic brain injuries, and neurological conditions among others, there are a plethora of ways of adapting to them. When someone takes a limited viewpoint and assumes others feel the same way, this can create a myriad of problems.
Perhaps I should not be surprised. After all, those without disabilities disagree on what's right and wrong and how life should be lived so why would those with disabilities be any different? Looking at life choices from a stance of fear, in my opinion, only leads to more fear, resentment and anger. I understand that we don't all need to agree. What pushes my anger button is the arrogance and ignorance that some have in assessing what is best for those of us with challenges. It's easy to become so short sighted that you believe your way is the only way.
There is definitely a line between standing up for yourself and finding compassion for others. Even very kind hearted people can miss the point of being helpful. I once knew a woman who insisted upon setting the brakes on a patient's wheelchair. The patient had her good days and bad and wanted to be more independent. When I suggested that perhaps the patient would like to do what she could, I was told: "I will help her. She needs me."
I want to be as independent as I can be. Some days that's more, some days that's less. Personally, I don't appreciate another's evaluation of what is best for me especially when it is based on opinions rather than quantitative facts.
Anger, I believe, is a fire that can be used to channel energy and motivation. It can also be destructive and destroy the one who holds it. For me, anger can be both. I'm still working on finding the balance between entitlement and empowerment.
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