It's possible!

Les Brown, motivator speaker, has often referred to the phrase:  "It's possible!" in his many stimulating presentations.  Les' belief is that if you have a dream that you need to follow it because only you can bring out your own unique gifts and talents.  Being disabled and gifted is a very bittersweet combination.  Sometimes I want so much to pursue my dreams and often I am stopped, at least momentarily, by a challenge I don't know how to handle.  It's really not about being unmotivated but rather feeling misunderstood and frustrated.

My ongoing challenge has been to find the missing link to my continued healing.  After all of the shifts in nutrition, supplements, homeopathic remedies and alternative services, I find myself with a staggering truth.  My brain, the center of all of my impressions and understandings, doesn't feel safe.  I am on sensory overload in one form or another all the time.  Although this situation is written about in certain research, very few people understand what it's like to be on guard all the time in one form or another.

Recently I met a man who also has traumatic brain injuries and post traumatic stress disorder.  He is a practitioner and one whose honesty and integrity intrigues me.  I will be meeting with him later this week because he specializes in working with helping the brain and body of his clients feel safe.  If safety is felt, then the body can make remarkable shifts towards healing. 

I heard my words as I spoke to him on the phone.  I talked about my brain enduring so much stress, grief, fear, and anger.  When I mentioned compassion, patience, and allowing myself the time I need to heal I felt comforted.  Sometimes this world demands us to be something we are not.  Frequently we are expected to appear calm when we're terrified; happy when we're depressed and motivated when we're exhausted.  We get so used to appearing one way and deeply feeling another that our incongruence begins to take on a life all its own.  We lose touch with who we are at our deepest levels.

We are not beings capable of lying to ourselves without consequence.  Sooner or later our masks fall off and we come face to face with our deepest emotions.  The raw edge of feeling can be completely overwhelming especially if we have never learned to allow our weaknesses, our imperfections and our pain to be expressed and honored.

As I take the next steps in my healing I feel immensely grateful for those in my life who don't run from my intensity, my sensitivity, and my unique blend of gift and challenge.  The pain of being dismissed, misunderstood, criticized and belittled leaves deep scars throughout my being yet I am not consumed by them anymore.  I do see beyond them and look forward to honoring and learning from the lessons my scars have to teach.