Compassion

We all use a variety of measures for determining our development throughout life.  At the moment, my focus would be on compassion both for myself and others.  There is a lot of spiritual literature which speaks to the oneness of us all.  This can present a real challenge when some of those around us are individuals who seem to be irritating to our core.  I have had more than a few of these folks around me throughout my life.  I have reflected on why it is that these certain people have brought up the feelings in me that they have. 


Sometimes it's the exaggerated, reactive behavior of these folks that causes me to feel unsettled.  What might trigger their next reaction?  The instability and intensity of their reaction causes me to brace for the next explosion.  I do my best to minimize my time around these people but sometimes that's just not an easy choice.  I can certainly feel the fear in these people.  Situations that could be easily managed are often intensely seen and felt by these individuals.  Day to day life stresses seem to cause them to fall into panic mode more often than not.


Perhaps the intensity of these folks would bother me less if others would stop reacting to them.  I often think it feels easier for the people around them to indulge them their emotional outbursts than to constantly redirect them or ignore them.  I have disconnected myself from some of these people in my life.  Their intensity and constant swirling of emotions feels very exhausting to me.  Sometimes this is not possible.  People do overreact and some much more than others.  It seems like often there is a pull of extremes:  those who under-react are attracted to those who overreact.  Usually this combination exhausts both parties who can't seem to understand the opposite.


I was thinking of the phrase:  "Rather than get pulled into their chaos, pull them into your peace."  I really am working with this.  There will certainly be people I find exhausting yet clearly they have a right to be who they are.  I would also state that the consequences of their behavior are theirs and theirs alone as well.


After years working with a diagnostic manual of mental health disorders, I could rattle off several labels for these people.  However I know that in doing so, it would soothe and settle nothing.  Some individuals are dominated by fear and anger and chaos is what they know.  Some people know violence, hatred and pain and respond in kind.  It's a challenge to move away from this type of person, who seems so lost, because for me there is that need to want to help make things better.  It's been a tough lesson for me to learn that some folks are not ready or willing to shift.  Where they are in their lives is where they choose to stay.  It feels sad to hear people speak in victim terms, but being a powerless victim with them is no help either.


Learning to love, let go, and allow is perhaps one of the most difficult lessons in life.  There are so many voices of shame and should in life today that it takes a lot of courage and self-love to step away from earthly pain and into God's grace.  I cannot say I do it all the time or that I'm always graceful in doing it.  I can honestly say I'm working on finding and keeping peace and giving God the chaos that is not mine to accept.